#Eeww get rid of him

[tibialtybalt]

heres my full liveblog under the cut also

WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

oh Tainsley glad to hear from you bud. Glad you're happy lol

"You any more dying than you were before?" lol

"I've failed at every fucking test life gave me, Hayward, I've lost my hope and my dignity a million-and-one-times, but I'm not failing at this. I'm getting you back to her. That is non-negotiable."

CARPENTERRRRR I LOVE YOUUUU

hihihi river fellas

"You guys not got an ox-bow lake we could hear about?" 😭😭😭 Why is he funny

WHAT. CARPENTER? SHE'S GIVING HERSELF TO THE RIVER?????? BRO?oh she can still swim we're good. (..?)

she's so funnyyy she goes "actually I'M gods specialist little guy. What about THAT."

"Take me back to the High Prophet Faulkner, and he can be the one to find out exactly what the Trawler-man is keeping me alive for."

DUDEEE. HOUGH. OKAY. OKAH. OKAY. OKAG. OKAY. YEAH DUDE!!!!!!! YES!!!!!

Carpenter is so scary good god. She's SO SCARY

there she is being called a miracle once again

they're calling Shrue anathema too now? 😭😭

nooo no no Paige 🥺

HRGHH oh pulling the Woundtree vines from under her skin sounds AWFULL full body shudder from me

Paige 🤝 Faulkner; struggling with being purposefully misconstrued

"if it sucks hit da bricks! You can just leave!" - Paige Duplass

"The god and the faith that we birthed - it's been useful to us, but it's part of that old world. And if I can't be rid of it, then there's no place for me amongst you either." DANG………………….

JUST WALK OUT!!!! WE'RE DOING THIS!! BUT UH, ,UM, WAIT? FOR HAYWARD? HE'S COMING BACK……….GUYS……

"Ok, it's a god with two mouths, two faces. One devours, one returns. … It's too ambiguous. They need to be distinctive mascots, don't they?" Ewwwwww ew ew eeww

VAL VAL VAL VAL 💖💖💖

Val kill him. Please

licensing Val as a legal god? That's a horrible idea?? Hellooo?????

"I'm sure it's a final consolation of many a monster, in the end - to think themselves divine."

Haha. Never seen that happen before! ......

MARTA DA SILVA VAL VOICE ACTOR YOU'RE INCREDIBLE

oh this conversation is fascinatingggg

man………………………….

okay. Okay yeah… Yeah….

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

podcast that can make me cry over anything and everything i guess. god.

BUHHHHH. ARGHGGHGHGH.

[springmagpies]

Welcome Back to my Uncle Reacts to AoS--Season 3

It has taken my Uncle months to watch season 3 as his schedule is super busy and what not. But we have finally watched it all and are on to Season 4. Anyway, here are some of his reactions to the third season of Agents of Shield

3x1

*Fitz comes to the lab after his excursion in Morocco* Coulson is like a father waiting in the dark kitchen. Where’ve ya been, Fitz?

*After the Do something scene* Ouch.

Is she on another planet? She’s on another planet. Guys, she’s on another planet!

3x2

He got her back! Oh my god, he got her back. Fitz is the man.

Hunter is the best.

Bobbi is the best.

Fitz is the best.

Oh, Coulson.

*About Jemma* What the hell happened there? What did she eat? She was there months right? Holy shit.

*Fitz sitting by her bed* Oh, Fitz.

3x03

My aunt: you two seem sad. What happened. Steve: Lincoln, Kate. Lincoln killed his friend and he didn’t mean to. And Jemma has ptsd. It was a lot of emotion. My aunt: ...

3x04

Yess May. Great timing. That’s all you needed.

3x05

Dammit, Will is hot.

She’s talking to Fitz? Cute!

3x06

Pauses the show uhh, Andrew turned into lash and kicked some ass. Calling it.

*Later* Called it.

3x07

“He does have a hog face.”  Bwhahahaha. That’s amazing.

Well that episode was emotional. The Fitzsimmons thing was so heart warming. And poor May.

3x09

Ward, you asshole. Why can’t they let Phil be happy.

3x10

Shit that’s not Will.

*At Ward’s death* Finally!

*Wards back* Freaking knew it. God dammit

3x11

What is Fitz 3d printing back there? Cool inhuman conversation but what’s he making?

*Anytime the subtitles are wrong on Netflix* That’s not what she said. That’s not what he said. That’s not what they’re saying.

*Steve understanding the Spanish and knowing what they’re saying without subtitles.* That is not what she said, subtitles.

*About Elena* she’s a badass.

3x12

Thank god for Hunter.

Ward is just creepy as hell. I know that’s not Ward, but it’s his stupid face.

3x13

Amadeus Ravenclaw Hunter. That’s fantastic. Is that really his name? Wait, no. Forget I said that. Ravenclaw is not his name.

Wait, so Bobbi and Hunter are just gone? But they can’t do that. They come back right? They’re the best, they can’t leave.

Mack’s crying the hardest.

That guy that’s supposed to be tailing them is very bad at his job.

Now I’m sad.

3x14

*Mack mentions friends being transferred” Aww, Bobbi and Hunter.

Repeats “It’s a building.” In Scottish accent. *laughs* that’s great.

Uh oh Fitz does not like Daisy’s methods of interrogation. He looks so uncomfortable.

A shotgun ax. Holy shit that’s amazing.

That dudes a hologram! Coulson knew. He’s a genius.

3x15

Holy shit we’re seeing the future.

*Hive melts the business men* Eeww, ugh that’s horrific. Aaah!

*Andrew becomes lash permanently* Oh no! Poor May. That’s so sad.

Wait, I bet you it’s not snow. Bet you it’s ash. *Snow is actually ash* Called it.

*Quinjet vision* That vision is familiar. Where have we seen that? Wait, that was at the beginning! Oh shit, that’s the future! Shit!

3x16

*Young Malick and Nathaniel appear on screen.* Maggie tries not to freak the frick out at Nathaniel so as not to spoil season 7.

Steve: oooh, does his brother get volunteered as tribute or something?

*Daisy explodes the mines in front of James house.* Badass.

*Reveal that Malick betrayed his brother* That’s why Ward had the stone! He knew! He remembers the betrayal! Oof, not looking great for Malick.

I hate Ward. Whatever he is.

Shit! Is he killing Malick daughter! That’s way more brutal than killing Malick! Ooooh, evil.

*Lincoln’s past is explained* See, I’m glad he’s sharing, but how do you bring something like that up in conversation normally. Glad their talking, but I get it.

*Giyera escaping from the containment pod* Fitz, please get away from the guy trying to escape. Please. Oh crap he’s got a seatbelt.

*Mack gets knocked out* Oof, Mack. Poor dude.

*Secret Warriors Assemble* Yes! I’ve got to put the baby to bed but then next episode!

3x17

Sorry Joey, I don’t think you’re going to finish that date. You’ve got to go fight people.

Whoa! Lincoln’s powers got even cooler.

That felt a bit too easy.

*Fitzsimmons flirting* They’re cute.

*Mackelena flirting* He’s speaking Spanish. Kay, that’s sweet.

I don’t think Joey is okay. He did kill that Medusa dude.

*reveal that one of the inhumans are swayed* That’s what he meant by someone on the inside! That’s not good. Now they’re all looking suspicious.

*Fitzsimmons find Malick’s body* Is he dead? Holy shit, was there a bomb! Shit!

“Aren’t you a spy, learn Spanish” Hahahahaha! Yes! That line is genius!

Okay, they are pushing for it to be Lincoln waaaay too hard.

*Fitzsimmons soft kiss in the bunk* *Steve Fist pumps* Yessss!

Uhhh, why is Daisy out of her cell. It’s her! Oh no.

Way to go Lincoln on the character growth. Staying for SHIELD!

Is Daisy going to fly? Oh no, she’s destroying the base. And she ruined Fitzsimmons make out session. And she’s bringing the base down. Also that.

Noooo! That’s it? That cliffhanger! *upset that we have to wait to watch the next episode*

3x18

“It’s risky, and irresponsible” Hahaha, May smiles.

Nice flying May!

*FS talking about sex* “I’ll see you in the quinjet” Hahahahahahahaha. That’s amazing.

*Hive talks* That’s not creepy. You know what happened to the last girl Hive kissed. Daisy run.

“Because all you are is big and strong.” Hahaha, Fitz is all pissy about it. Amazing.

Oof, Lincoln just can’t get Coulson’s approval.

Maggie: Fitz is so handsome Steve: He really is

*FS ending scene* Yessss!!!! Finally!!!

3x19

Inhuman backstory!!

Why are they all such jerks to Lincoln? Like, he just cannot win with Coulson and May. No one is nice to him. Except Fitzsimmons, they’re nice to him. Okay, and Mack.

*Piper is introduced* Red shirts aren’t red shirts! That’s awesome!

Oh, Mack, what are you doing? Please don’t get hurt. Daisy please don’t hurt him. Mack noooo!

Wow, Shield is just struggling on all fronts. Daisy’s missing, Mack’s injured, Lincoln’s sick—Wait no after credit scene?! Dammit!

3x20

Okay, they seriously need to lay off Lincoln. Like, he is not a bad dude!

Now I see why they can’t get help from the avengers.

Yo yo is awesome.

Fitz having to play whack-a-mole with security. Gosh, they’re going through it.

Lincoln, nooo! You’re smarter than this! Your character growth! Oh, thank god it was part of the plan.

Yes! Lash! Badass!

Oh my god he’s saving Daisy! Yeah!!!

No!!! Lash!!!!

He couldn’t just have killed Hive? I guess we need a finale.

Andrew saved Daisy!

Shit, he’s got a warhead. Ward’s trying to destroy the world again.

What’s Elena giving Mack? No! Mack put that down! Put the cross down!

3x21

That’s right, Shield is good at what they do.

They done pissed off an alien.

Fitz is amazing.

Fitzsimmons should go on that vacation. Take a break.

Oh no the cross! The jacket! Fitz put it down!

Wait, she wants to go back?! Daisy, nooooo!

3x22

Ooh Yo Yo no!!! She took a bullet for Mack. Yeah, she is not okay.

Shit, they’re going to use the torch to cauterize the wound. That’s majorly going to scar.

Why do I kind of like Radcliffe?

Oh, May was about to be super nice to Daisy and she gets hit over the head.

“You were a murderous wank before all this��� Okay, that line’s amazing

Did Fitz cloak a gun?! That’s amazing!

Aaaah, the jacket! Can they stop freaking me out with the jacket?!

I like how they pan from the window so they don’t have to break it for real.

Don’t get rid of Daisy!

“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi” Oh my god, that’s incredible.

Badass shield team is badass.

You know the person who plays Daisy is a great actress.

Wait. wait. Wait. Lincoln. Lincoln? Noooooo! They can’t kill Lincoln. They’re not going to—they can’t. But I loved Lincoln! Nooo!

*Steve is quiet for a long moment* I loved Lincoln.

*Flash forward* Is Daisy on the run?

Director? What? Phil’s not the director??

“No Aida that’s not what we’re celebrating” It’s your birthday. “Today’s your birthday.” CALLED IT! Wait, are we going to have robots?

Shit, we lost a lot of people that season.

Crap, I want to watch the next episode!!

[polygamyff]

57. Part 2

Walking into meeting room “Kellen, thank you for coming” sitting down “well you called so I came but I kind of know why” I had to laugh, he is not that slow now “well if you know then why is she here?” I questioned, I don’t need her to be around she is a bitch “because when your son is right there and she is pushing him in my face and telling me I can’t see him, the court proceeding is taking too long, you have your daughter with you. I didn’t know she was coming; she came with my son. I was happy to see him; I didn’t do this for anybody else. I get she is using my son against me, but I need to see him. She came and she wanted a room here, so I gave mine up and I know she kicked off” licking my top lip staring at Kellen, thinking on what I can do to make this shit go away “she is unstable Kellen, she can’t be there. She cannot be at any event because it’s not about Tiffany, she is making it about herself because she is a self-centred bitch. She will cause issues, you need to tell her to leave that child with you, threaten her, I don’t care. She cannot be there, it can’t happen. I have been waiting for this moment just for some thot you got to ruin it? No, you sort it Kellen or you and your family can fuck off out of here. You should be glad my dad even remotely cares because all of you don’t mean shit to me. I am done, all of you are going to come for me after this because y’all have to get jobs” Kellen shook his head in annoyance “why can’t we just bring our kids up differently? Why can’t we? We was bought up to hate you Maurice!” Kellen shouted “to knock you off your spot, Maurice is the new prince. My dad to obey you!? You want that but he ain’t going to give you that, I will because I want to be still in the business, why can’t we just be different!” he is spitting the truth but I don’t trust him “then you deal with Tiffany before I do, and you know how that will end up. She will be on the streets with no fucking baby. Don’t start me off Kellen, sort it out!” getting up from the chair “nobody likes you Maurice” Kellen said “I know, they was waiting outside my hospital room thinking I was dying. I know” walking off “but I don’t” I don’t care for how he feels, I can never trust him in my life.

Putting the paper down “that is fine, what I want you to do is if there is hotel charges, any damages. You charge them, did you take a card from them to put down against the room?” looking over at the management of this hotel “no, no sir we didn’t because they are family?” I sighed out “so what to do, go to every room that is my family member and take it. I think there is a lot of sour faces that will be acting out ok?” he nodded his head “hi” looking away from the manager and at the person saying hi at the front desk “hello” I said “hi, I have received an email that my booking got cancelled but I have been booked under Adam Selman, he is here to do Robyn throughout this week?” letting out an oh “it got cancelled, he is managing the hotel so he will deal with this. He will get you a room somehow” he can deal with that, walking off “if it isn’t the man himself behind the front desk. The very man that ruined a lot of friendships” I just knew I would see her “Tiffany grow up, you did that all by yourself” she is going to follow me and meet me at the end as I leave the front desk “I wish you didn’t meet Robyn, you took my friend” this is what I didn’t want “now is not the time” smiling at the workers as I walked by them “then when is the time” she got in my way “never, Tiffany. This is over, we have moved on. You’re trying to prove a point, but it doesn’t make sense, Robyn has moved on, I have moved on. We are done, you can sell a story I don’t care because pretty much, I am good over here, Robyn is good, my daughter is good. You’re just here because nobody is giving you attention” her friends are here now “Tiffany, if you want to keep those Dior bags and this lifestyle I suggest you back up. Kellen will be working elsewhere and he won’t be getting paid what he does now, because you and I both know he doesn’t have a brain, he only got into these colleges because of money and the people we know, I am being nice now. Don’t make your child to be as fucked up as you. And don’t forget you are not Robyn that you can take a Davenport to court, because she would get a hell of a pay-out, you can’t even amount to her even in taking someone to court. You take him court he has nothing; you won’t get shit because it’s mine, it’s my name on this. Not even child support you will get because you can’t take me to court. You are nothing” walking closer to her “you don’t know me, the real me. I am being nice, you listen loud and clear, I will let this child roam around being a Davenport still. I can call up my lawyer and make your existence to my family gone and trust me. You search Naomi Davenport, she doesn’t exist. I won’t buy you and I won’t pay you; I will just make you disappear. You can either accept the blessing you got which is the baby or you can fuck up yours and his life. Anyways, I have things I need to do” walking by her, Tiffany looks like I just slapped her, but I spoke the truth.

“Daddy is home!” Robyn spat “wait how did you get in?” she asked “I told you, I am the man of the house. Awww Mi Amor, what is this messy face all about” pressing a kiss to her cheek “eeww, I just tasted your nasty baby food. Why are you in your diaper too?” Reign held up a piece of watermelon up to me and she really is babbling shit to me “don’t you talk shit to me, and I am back. And I have dropped your mother off at work and then went to my hotel to check on things” hearing Reign whine out trying to give me this watermelon, looking down at her “you want to feed papa? But baby, you stank. Like you need a bath, why do you let her be like this?” looking at Robyn and she looks so offended “says you! You’re worse than me but because I am giving her a bath I am letting her be a baby and do what she needs. And she was feeling warm” shaking my head “what is mommy like” Reign is really sat in this highchair fake crying because I am not eating it “ok, fine” I hummed as I leaned down to Reign, opening my mouth. Gripping my teeth on the watermelon but Reign decided to push it in my mouth “mhmm” moving my head back, as the watermelon fell on the tray “eew” I said wiping my mouth, Reign clapped laughing “you are my daughter, thank you Reign. Now sit down” Robyn said, I am a mess now “you need to get me a new top out now, eew” walking around the highchair “I am honestly shocked you have allowed Reign to make such a mess” pulling the chair back “I woke up, felt sick and then she cried. I just feel like shit, so I am just like whatever” poking my lips out to her “not easy is it, were you not well with Reign?” I mean obviously I wasn’t around as much “I don’t know, it was either the heartbreak or the baby that was making me ill” Robyn raised an eyebrow saying “mhmm so the baby then” Robyn laughed “be quiet, so you dropped my mother off at work, how was that?” Robyn looks so pale “erm, it was ok. We just spoke on a lot of things. Secret things, so yeah” I grinned “don’t annoy me” I chuckled, she is so serious.

Robyn is supposed to come with me to find a suit but I have to do this blood transfusion so I can either lie or tell the truth but lies is no good “I was thinking we could find a holiday home here, rent it out and then when we need it we can use it?” I am talking shit because I know Robyn will just drive me crazy “I mean we can just rent; I don’t want no home in the Hollywood hills, they seem a little crazy. Maybe crackheads, the lot of them” I snorted laughing “but what about a home on the beachfront? Something nice?” I am just buying time, clearly “anyways, I need to go suit shopping later. I have to go and get my uhm, blood done” I said pointing at my arm “for what? Are you ok!?” Robyn froze halfway eating, staring at me “uh yes, I am ok. Promise just need a transfusion. This will help with the pain, that is all” Robyn let out an oh “so you called the doctor and told them you were having issues? Awww, proud of you” nodding my head slowly “yes, that happened. So, I need to do that first, see if I feel ok after that. It’s long so I don’t want it-” Robyn pointed at me “you have it! seriously, we have the honeymoon to happen and some other things for your birthday. I can’t have you unwell, I mean it. You go! I will drop you off, or would you like me to come with you?” shaking my head “I am ok thank you, but you can drop me off” Robyn smiled at me “you know when you have that you are going to feel so alive, so much better. That always happens, more energy so we can have some sex tonight. You look so tired though, I am actually so happy you are having it and you told, you know what that is?” she questioned “what?” I retorted confused “growth, I love you” smiling lightly “love you too” Robyn will be on my case if I told her the times I cancelled, let me keep this detail to myself.

I cheesed at Robyn “you’re such a baby, stop it” she pushed my face back “I like when you drive me around, you know these hands don’t do hard work. You’re my driver” moving back in the seat as I smiled to myself “never said though, Tiffany is at the hotel. I got a miss call from the hotel, but Ally told me. She said that she demanded a room, that is why the hotel called me but then Kellen came down gave his room up for her and the baby, also her friends. She has friends, shocking. So, I caught up with him, told him he needs to control her. She is not invited to anything, she is using the child saying he has rights, so I was dealing with some things at the front desk. The hotel is so busy, so I was checking on who is there, I see her. She came at me, I just told her that she leaves me the fuck alone or I will take it further. I will get rid of Kellen and then he won’t have a job, he can’t provide for you on top of that. This life she lives is my money, I am paying him to do a job. I said it in a angrier tone, she was taken aback by it. I am not going to have her in any of them places, the baby is fine” I thought I would tell Robyn that “I am glad it was you that said it, she just wants that life. She assumed getting with Kellen and that his family owned Davenport hotels, she assumed that she did better then me which is bullshit. Now I am doing better then her, she now wants to do better. It’s a vicious circle and now she is miserable with a baby she is using. It’s sickening, why hasn’t Kellen taken that child from her!? What is he playing at” Robyn has got a point, why hasn’t Kellen got some right over that child “I wish I knew Bonita” Kellen has by tonight to sort that shit out, I am not fucking with that.

[nei-ning]

Had weird nasty dreams last night. I had a dream inside a dream in first round so to say. In this dream inside a dream I remember sitting / laying on something which was like sofa or bed. There was woman around her 40′s at the edge of the “bed” with bronze curly hair just slightly above her shoulders. She was talking to me something, but I didn’t hear her since I was focusing on my right leg’s little toe (it went through a surgery few years ago where middle bone was removed). That toe hurts almost daily in real life, but in this dream it was swollen, sting like hell while becoming numb. And this weird turning numb stinging went from to little toe all the way up to my knee (outer side of the leg). I was rubbing my leg and I was fearing that my leg, at least from those numb areas, would paralyze. It was nasty feeling / fear.

Then in another dream I went with few people, who I didn’t know, in some weird house (again weird place!) and I headed upstairs / in the small attic with a man and either another man or a woman. At my right, after climbing up the stairs, was regular wooden wall, like the whole attic had, but at the end was yellow brick wall with open doorway which lead to another attic. I didn’t go there, but I saw from my spot in that another attic. It was gray, messy, full of webs, fallen parts etc. Then there appeared a figure of young child, a girl, who was wearing long pink jacket with fur on the shoulder / neck area. This girl was dark misty figure so I knew it was a spirit. And while she didn’t feel bad I knew seeing her wasn’t all that good. This man, who came up there with me, called me so I turned around. He was holding an item which was old doll’s face, just face, and behind the head had been glued or sewed dark pink fabrics on top of each other to look like flower pedals. I instantly knew that item was NO good. I grabbed it from the man and pressed the face on the floor and baby dress appeared to it as a body. I kept my right hand on the face as I bend down and I remember cursing in my mind, biting my teeth together. This doll face was cursed / it held something negative so I prepared myself and started to repeat that it has to leave in the name of God. That it’s not welcome here etc. and I kept repeating those. This thing didn’t like it and it burst out from the doll, revealing itself to me. I flew on my ass staring up at it, still holding the doll’s face. My right arm felt... weird. It felt strong, but at the same time it felt like I was sucking that negativity in my arm in order to get rid of it. But anyway, this being, appeared as misty green “troll” looking thing. If you have watched Trollhunters and know AAARRG!! from it, this was a little bit similar to him. But nasty. He liked to scare people, but not harm them. Plus he had middle sized horns (I will draw him later). I kept repeating that it must leave in the name of God and then there was another burst, and this... Seriously bad and freaking being appeared. It was shaped like a spirit without any actual body form (it looked more like upside down drop) and it had dark purple lines while the color was lighter purple. It had horrible empty eye holes, dark ones, and the mouth was handing open like if it was screaming, but there was no sound. It had at least 3 teeth at upper jaw, they all were blood red and looked like some jelly. I’m sorry I really don’t know how to explain it good, but it had SO HORRIBLE ENERGY. SO freaking negative, strong, nasty... Just huge eeww. It honestly freaked me out so much that I woke up. But still, after the dream, I can feel that power in my right arm. It’s amazing feeling. I never haven’t felt such strength.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Batman and Robin”

Oh God here we go.  Just in time for the holidays...

*externally screaming*

*deep breath then continues screaming*

What’s with these opening credits?

Do they really have to put creases everywhere on the Batsuit?

Is Robin wearing eyeshadow?!?

Hot Wheels:  The Movie

“This is why Superman works alone.”  Oh God, Superman’s in this universe?

My sister:  It’s the Nicholas Cage version.

You gotta have this big elaborate light show to reveal Dick’s motorcycle

Is that Pat Hingle [as Commissioner Gordon]?  God, just go away.

Not gonna lie, I like the makeup they did for Mr. Freeze’s face

“Hi Freeze, I’m Batman!”

The hole left in the wall when Dick crashes through it is the Robin symbol.  SUBTLE!

“It’s the hockey team from hell!”  I mean, yeah.

Random close ups!

Ice skates!

Freeze just threw that guy straight up in the air.

This whole movie looks like it took place in a rave.  Like, what’s with all the neon lighting in an art museum?

I like the bottom of Mr. Freeze’s boots.  At least he’ll get traction

[Mr. Freeze rockets out of the museum] *sings*  If you want to view paradise...

So where does Freeze find all this time to make these contraptions in the first place?

George Clooney’s acting is like a stick:  it’s wooden

If Dick yells “Cowabunga!,” I swear to God...

“Cowabunga!”  Oh my God no

There is no way Batman can catch up to Mr. Freeze in free fall.  10 ft per second, assholes!

The colors in this movie would legit make a pretty awesome commission color palette

Robin was just frozen mid-air?!?!?

*sing songs*  Shaky cam!

Chuck him [the frozen Robin] at the wall!

Matte painting!

What did she (Dr. Isley) just say?

AN:  We’re only 15 minutes in?!?

Is she [Dr. Isley] speaking into a tube of lipstick?

Antonio Diego?

This whole scene with the introduction to Bane looks like something out of Rocky Horror for some reason.  You got a couple weird people in suits watching the whole thing up on a balcony and you got a wacky-ass scientist with crazy hair

That’s.... gross...

Pointing... more pointing!

So dumping a whole bunch of toxins on Dr. Isley is gonna turn her into a psycho plant seductress?  OK...

I like how the security camera zooms in on Victor becoming Mr. Freeze

George Clooney looks way too smug to be Bruce Wayne for some reason.  Grow some hair!

AN:  Oh my God, we’re only 23 minutes in... *whines* this is a two hour movie!

Dutch Angle!

I do like the purple lighting in the lab

*Poison Ivy appears in the middle of the lab from underground*  How?

“My [Ivy] blood has been replace with aloe, my skin with chlorophyll.”

My sister:  Moisturize your skin with my blood!

Me:  MOISTURIZE ME!

Chlorophyll is a pigment.  If her [Ivy’s] skin is now made up of chlorophyll, shouldn’t she be green?

Is Woodrue’s tongue turning green?

“Hell, I am Mother Nature!”  That’s like probably one of the only good lines in this movie.

*starts singing “Mr. Snow Miser”*

I like Freeze’s polar bear slippers!

This mofo [Freeze] is blue!

Why does Mr. Freeze have a cigar?

This whole movie plot is ripped from an episode of “Batman:  The Animated Series.”  Seriously, the episode’s called “Cold Comfort.”

The actress playing Nora Fries looks waaaay too young for some reason.

George Clooney is wearing a turtleneck... for the love of God, wear something else!

“I’m not used to this type of luxury...”  You [Barbara] go to a boarding school.  Shut up!

This looks like one of the streets used in the Batman TV show in the 60s.

That wig Ivy just put on has the Pulp Fiction bangs

Who’s the lady in the pink suit?

Julie Madison?  Why don’t we see more of her besides being a one-off girlfriend?

OK, I like the trench coat Ivy has on

They used the word “primordial” in the script.  I’m impressed.

“... warm-blooded opressors...” Aren’t you [Ivy] warm-blooded though?  You’re human...

Holy crap the makeup on Mr. Freeze without the costume is great

*The costume ball starts*  This is “The Mask” all over again

This is literally the same set they used for the art museum in the beginning of the movie

There’s a dude in the background wearing a leopard-print tuxedo

*mutters*  The hell is this music?

I actually like the eye makeup on Ivy

“I’ll bring everything you see here and everything you don’t.”  Mic drop.

Was that a banana peel sound effect?

My sister:  Yes it was.

“Good night.”  OK, that was funny.

Where is Ivy still there after Freeze left?

*The camera pans up a giant statue*  HANDSSSSS.... TOUCHING HANDSSSS...

Parkour!

Oh my gosh the CGI

Redbird?

REEED ROBIN YUMMMMM

ExPLOsions...

*The Batmobile gets frozen and crashes*  Oh no, not the merchandise!

“We have very little time.”  For what?

Michael Gough:  MVP of the movie

Did they just use a lightsaber sound effect to indicate the end of the flashback?

Ominous green lighting!

They [the Arkham guards] put him [Freeze] in an ice box...

Whoa...

The tile son the floor in Victor’s cell line up to make a snowflake

*Radioactive ghetto people show up*  I would legit go as one of them for Halloween

This movie is just one big sound stage

Where’d she [Ivy] get the seeds from?

George Clooney legit sounds like Mel Gibson’s John Smith from “Pocahontas”

There’s a floating face!

I think that’s actually Coolio

AN:  Yes it is

What is the point of this whole motorcycle race thing?  There’s literally no point to this scene.

My sister:  Did they just really wanna show off the set?

Me:  Well this movie is literally one giant toy commercial so...

That green screen was terrible

“Alfred’s not sick.  He’s dying.”  Well way to whip that out, movie!

You can tell that they put some effort into the characterization of Freeze in this movie.  It’s just surrounded by a bunch of campy, stupid stuff.

“Men are the most absurd of God’s creations.”  Man was one of the first ones, bitch...

I have the Poison Ivy gif of “Not good!”  saved on my laptop

Sorry Freeze, only one person looks good in chrome

*Freeze freezes the pipes to make them explode*  Well that was quick

Liking the statues of the absolutely ripped dudes on the fireplace mantle in Wayne Manor.  Schumacher, I see you.

*Batman opens up the secret bookcase in Freeze’s old lair to find Nora*  IT’S MISTER WHITE CHRISTMAS, IT’S MISTER SNOW!

I like that there’s a convenient lever from “Heat” to “Freeze”

*Bane beats Robin*  I was wondering what would break first:  your spirit... or your body!

“Why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs?”  Point!

Oh there you go.  Commissioner Gordon actually did something in this movie.

Is that slime?

“I’m [Dick] going solo!”  But not Han Solo.  He’s not cool enough to be Han Solo

My sister:  He’s whiny enough to be Ben Solo

Me:  Except Ben Solo was written better.

Oh, Ivy’s green boots are awesome

Freeze’s eyes look orange in this scene

“First...” Gotham!

“Gotham!”  Then the world!

“And then... the world!”  Haha!

“Adam... and Evil!”  BOO...

OH MY GOD- oh, that’s Bruce.  OK.

*Bruce and Dick argue over Ivy’s influence over them*  It’s called pheromones, guys.  Everyone has them.

What the... heck was that transition?

Oh I like that dress Ivy’s wearing...

Slow... motion...

Ellie Macpherson (Julie Madison) kinda looks like Jennifer Garner

Oh just smash it [the Bat-signal] in!  You don’t need to actually lift it up!

I just realized what’s wrong with George Clooney in this movie:  it always looks like he has a five o’clock shadow above his top lip

*Bruce hugs Alfred*  Aaawww!

The signature on the portrait wasn’t there a second ago!

*cracks up at the computer saying “Access Granted”*

Why is a telescope powered on crystals?

“... will you trust me now?”  *in best angsty teenage impression*  No, because he’s [Dick] got his eyeshadow on!

OK. Arnold’s evil laugh is getting there.  A little more work then he’s got it

*Barbara puts on her Batsuit*  Eeewww... eeww!

How the hell did Ivy set up her evil lair?

“Hi there.”  *in best George Clooney voice*  Hi Robin, I’m Ivy!

“How about ‘Slippery When Wet?’“ 

*actually has to collapse backwards on floor to laugh*

My sister:  Her eyeshadow’s awesome

Me:  She [Ivy] looks like a drag queen!

My sister:  It’s the eyebrows!

*Robin peels off his rubber lips*  WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!?

Oh my God, look at her [Ivy’s] bangles!

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait!  They rewound the tape when Robin resurfaces from the pool!

My sister:  *sings*  My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think...

*Ivy’s plants suddenly eat her*  ...Why?

Oh she’s not dead.  OK...

*Camera pans up giant statue*  Aaaabbsss... Schumacher loves them...

*Random person in telephone booth gets frozen*  NO, NOT THE TARDIS!

NO, NOT THE DOG!

He was frozen mid-pee though.  Youch.

WHAAT IS THIS?!?!?!?

Why do all the Batsuits have silver accents now?  Unless the silver bits are just snap-on attachments...

*sing songs*  Free-zing... freezing the city!

PLAnets...

My sister:  Now I just want the planetarium fight from “The Great Game” to happen

Me:  Oh my God... we should watch that instead!

My sister:  Right?!?!?

You seriously could take any shot from this movie and all the colors in them would make up an awesome color palette

*Dick unleashes the grappling hook at the last minute and successfully latches onto something*  I CALL BULL!

Where the hell did he [Bane] come from?!?

AN:  Oh God we’re almost done with this movie YAAAAYY!

*Bane literally deflates*  Eeeewwww!

Oh my gosh, that 1997 CGI though

[Some of the ice in the city proceeds to melt]  *sings*  Here comes the sun...

*Mr. Freeze lets out an evil chuckle*  What a story, Mark!

Oh my God, that green screen though!

*The Bat gang manages to get rid of all the ice covering the city*  This... is bull... shit.

The ice actually wiggles on the cop car door!

THERE IS NO WAY BATMAN GOT THAT FOOTAGE OF IVY!

I call bullshit on this whole movie!

Oh, and he [Freeze] just had the cure [to Nora and Alfred] on him the whole time?

OK, I actually liked the music for that scene.  What the heck?

OK, for being a man-hater, Ivy, you’re pretty obsessed about one.

“Winter has come at last.”  Game of Thrones did it better.

The official catchphrase for this movie:  Hi [insert name], I’m [insert other name]

HEELP!  THEY’RE CASTING FOR BATMAN UNCHAINED!

*in best Batman voice*  DON’T MAKE ME PUSH YOU DOWN, O’DONNELL [Robin/Dick]!  I’LL DO ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF THIS FRANCHISE!